


That Sneaky “What If”

by ExclusiveGorgeousGeek



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Cliche, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Humor, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Short One Shot, short and sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 13:50:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14521953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExclusiveGorgeousGeek/pseuds/ExclusiveGorgeousGeek
Summary: Dan has had a huge crush on his roommate Phil for as long as he can remember, though he’s never told him.Little does Danny boy know, the feelings are more then reciprocated.





	That Sneaky “What If”

For most people, living with the love of their life would be complete heaven, right? 

Wrong. 

Well kinda. 

I'm getting ahead of myself here though, maybe I should start from the beginning? 

My name's Dan Howell and I live with my best friend of 9 years, Phil Lester.

I should probably also mention, I'm sort of madly in love with him. 

Oh and he doesn't know. 

Yuuuup. 

It's, well- it's damned complicated to say the least, but I make it work. 

Lately though, it's been a lot harder to not accidentally slip up. 

Take the other day for example, Phil was telling me something and I was 100% listening except that...hell, I wasn't listening. 

I started out kinda half listening then I got distracted by the way Phil's lips move when he's talking about something he's really passionate about. 

It's mesmerizing honestly. 

You have no idea how hard it is living everyday, all day, with someone you're in love with and not being able to do anything about it. 

Sure, I have thought of telling him, but you know that voice in the back of your head?  
No, not your conscience, that's the other one. 

I'm talking about that little voice that is always saying things like ''sure, that thing might end up okay, but what if it doesn't? What if it turns out so much worse?" 

I guess that would make it the voice that comes before your conscience?

Whatever. 

Not the point, Dan. 

Focus. 

Ugh, am I the only one with that thing? 

Wouldn't surprise me really. 

That bloody thing will never leave me alone, especially when I'm with Phil.

Lately, I have just wanted to kiss him. 

Okay fine, I have always wanted to kiss him, but I mean I want to do it more then usual. 

And I mean like....kiss him, kiss him.

That voice nagging at me, telling me that if I do there is always that chance that Phil will feel the same way. 

Course, the rational side of my brain is telling me that's a giant mistake. 

He could just as easily not feel the same way and I would totally freak him out. 

What if he leaves?  
What if he stays? 

What if he actually loves me back?  
What if he doesn't? 

I don't want to lose my best friend. 

And that brings us to here. 

Ugh, I feel like a stupid lovesick teenage girl. 

Oh, shut up. 

-

"Dan! Anthony is here!" Phil yells, pulling me out of my train of thought. 

I bring my hands up to my face and gently rub my eyes. 

I must have zoned out scrolling tumblr. 

You know that burning feeling your eyes get when you have been staring at your computer screen for 7 hours straight? 

Apparently, that happens when you zone out looking at your computer as well. 

Just a little fact for the day. 

"On my way!" I holler back, lifting the laptop off my lap and rolling off the bed. 

I make my way down the hall to be met with the sound of laughter rolling out of the lounge.

I round the corner to see Anthony sitting on the couch next to Phil, showing him a photo on his phone. 

"Ay! Danny boy!" Anthony says looking up with an ear to ear grin. 

I casually lean against the door frame with a blank expression.

"Oh I'm sorry, have we met?" I ask trying to bite back a laugh, as Anthony’s expression goes from confusion, to mischievous all in under 0.5 seconds. 

"Well then this is about to get incredibly awkward." Anthony says with a grin and springs up off the sofa, engulfing me in a hug and lifting me up. 

Pretty amazing actually, considering I'm much taller then him. 

I’m taller then most people, but you know what I mean. 

"Phil!" I shout trying not to laugh, as I try to wiggle out of Anthony’s grasp, "Don't just sit there! I'm being inappropriately touched by a stranger!"

Phil just leans back into the couch with a big smile plastered on his face, folding his arms against his chest. 

"I don't know Daniel. You seem to be handling it quite well."

I shoot him a death glare as Anthony puts me down and nonchalantly walks back to the sofa and flops down. 

"So my amigos, I stopped by to ask if could possible edit a video here? My place is currently 'under construction' and it's so damn loud I can't even hear myself think."  
Anthony adds, dramatically trowing his hands up and falling over on the couch, landing on his side. 

"I just need to borrow a room for like an hour." He says says rolling over onto his back, feet dangling over the sofa armrest. 

He tills his back slightly to look up at Phil who is sitting just centimeters away.  
"I'll be quick and all things fast." He says pulling his lips into a pout, "not even that long." 

"That's what she said." I mumble walking over to the chair across the room. 

Phil try's to stifle a laugh, which makes Anthony burst out laughing.  
Phil still has the sense of humor of a 13 year old.

And I love him for it.

"So that's a yes?" 

I look over at Phil who shrugs, "Yeah, sure." 

"You guys are the BEST!" Anthony shouts and runs out of the lounge and down the hall, towards the guest room I'm assuming. 

Three seconds later I hear the faint sound of his footsteps stop and then start to get louder. 

"I might need this." Anthony says with a toothy grin, grabbing his computer bag off the floor by the door then sprinting back down the hall. 

Phil looks at me and shakes his head, "Well that was -"

I laugh and nod my head, "Definitely something." finishing his sentence. 

He chuckles and pushes his glasses back up onto the bridge of his nose, "Have any plans for the day?" 

I shrug while standing up, "Thinking of swinging by Top Man. I really need a new shirt." 

"Oh really? Have you suddenly run out of black shirts?" Phil says with a sarcastic smile. 

I glare at him, but then break out into a smile,  
"Oh my dear Philly. I am nothing if not a freaking rainbow." 

Phil giggles, running a hand through his hair, leaving it in a fluffy soft quiff. 

God, Dan. Now is so not the time.

"Actually I'm on the hunt for a blue button up for that party thing you're forcing me to go to next week." I say with a cheeky grin.

Phil just snorts, and grabs his phone off the couch cushion next to him, checking the time. 

"Mine if I come? Then Anthony will have the place to himself." 

I nod, "Although is that a good thing or a bad thing?" 

Phil stops mid way standing up and laughs, "Let's just got before we think about it too much." 

 

"I can't believe we went to get you a blue shirt and you came back with two black ones." 

I laugh throwing my shopping bag and keys on the closest chair. 

"What can I say, my soul is eternally black. And hey, their not technically black." I say with a frown, pulling the shirts out of the bag. 

"This one is charcoal." I say lifting it, "and this beauty is definitely just dark grey." 

Phil chuckles reaching into his bag. 

"But neither one of those is as fabulous as this!"  
He states with a grin, pulling out a bright peacock blue bowtie. 

"Sure, and where the hell do you plan on wearing that?" I say trying not to smile at how adorable Phil looks when he's excited. 

"Excuse you, I'm planning on wearing it in all my videos from now on." 

I turn around and raise an eyebrow.  
"Phil, you don't even know how to tie that thing." 

He frowns slightly but then smiles again, "I'll be right back." He says with a wink. 

I grin to myself, watching him all but skip to his room. 

No. Snap out of it. Bad! Bad thoughts. 

I hear Phil come strutting back in a few minutes later with a big grin, "Ha. Can't tie it, my ass." 

I chuckle and spin back around and- 

Woah.

Phil stands there with a triumphant grin, proudly displaying his, well slightly crooked tie, but god the color. 

It makes his eyes look like bloody diamonds. 

"It's- Uh- it's nice." I say with a smile. 

"I told you!" 

"It's slightly wayward though." 

Phil laughs and shrugs, "Eh, I gave it a valiant try." 

I giggle slightly as he try's to fix it, which is nearly impossible without a mirror.

Even when you do know what you’re doing. 

"Oh my god, you're such a dork."  
I say laughing as he walks over and stands in front of me. 

"Fix it?" He asks with a pouty smile, tilting his head back slightly and keeping his gaze behind me.

I inhale quickly and give him a weak chuckle, "Uh- yeah, sure." 

I move my hands up to grip the fabric and start to straighten it out. 

I use to try and not be this physically close to Phil and we haven't been for awhile, and holy hell do I remember why I tried to avoid it. 

I keep my eyes glued on his tie. 

Close eye contact is the last thing I need right now. 

This is bad enough. 

I pull the ends of the fabric watching the tie unravel, "Sorry, but that was not savable." I say with a small smirk to myself. 

Phil sighs, his warm breath brushing against my cheek making me shift slightly.

"Just let me give it a go." I say starting to retie it. 

Phil's eyes slowly move from looking behind me, down to look at mine. 

I don't have to look up to know they're there.

I can't, if I do there's no way I can control myself. 

I can't screw this up. 

"There. Perfect." I say with a smile at the perfectly straight cloth. Which actually looks like a bowtie now, thank you very much.

Phil's eyes are still locked on mine. 

I finally cave and move my eyes up to meet his intense stare. 

Our faces now only a few centimeters apart.

I gasp slightly and immediately regret it. 

Well hell. 

Then the last thing I ever expected happened. 

Phil slowly glances down at my lips then back up to my eyes. 

That was all it took. 

I can at least try, right? 

I carefully bring my hand up to his face, afraid I might have misread him. 

I gently put it on his cheek and tilt my head slightly as I move closer. 

You know what? 

Screw it. 

I close my eyes and gently place my lips on his. 

The second Phil starts to kiss back I can feel a weird tingly feeling shoot through my chest.

He must like me too.

At first it's sweet and soft.

Almost as if we were giving each other a chance to back out. 

Call quits. 

Say it was all just a mistake. 

Neither of us did. 

I feel Phil gently run his tongue along my bottom lip, sending a shiver through my whole body. 

I whimper slightly as I let him in, and god is it pure bliss. 

I pull back slightly and nibble at his lip causing him to let out a deep throated moan. 

And with that, any self restraint I had was completely gone.

I quickly slide my hand from his cheek down his neck, to his chest and push him backwards gently until he hits the back of the door. 

Each kiss more heated then the last. 

Each one filled with all the love and passion we have felt for each other for so many years. 

Phil moves his hands to my hips and steps forward slightly, quickly flipping us so I'm now the one pinned against the door. 

I groan as he reconnects our lips and deepens the kiss as I gently tug at his hair, causing him to push into me even more. 

"I hate to ruin this beautiful moment-" 

I quickly straighten up as Phil jumps backwards, spinning around so fast I thought he might fall. 

And there is Anthony sitting on the arm of the sofa. 

With a damn cheeky grin. 

"Sorry to interrupt, but I need to walk through that thing in order to leave." He says pointing to the door.

"Anthony! You, Uh, you're still here? I mean, hah, I thought yo-you left." 

He stands up still grinning ear to ear and walks over looking me and Phil up and down.  
"Clearly." 

He walks past us and over to the door, where I step to the side slightly to get out of the way. 

I can feel my cheeks instantly start to heat up. 

"Have fun kids!" Anthony says as he walks out the door, "Oh and nice bowtie." He adds with a wink at an already flustered Phil, making him turn an even brighter shade of red. 

Phil and I just stand there for a second then look at each other and giggle. 

"Only to us, would that happen." I say with a smile. 

Phil grins and walks back over to me, kissing my cheek. 

"True, but it was so worth it."

**Author's Note:**

> hello there! anna here! hope you enjoyed that! if you would like to stalk me (i always wanted my own stalker) make sure you check out my tumblr @exclusivegorgeousgeek 
> 
> till next time my loves!


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